Every coin has two sides and so it is with feminism. Living in northern Europe for many years now, seeing how women here live, I know over and over again why I am grateful to be an Indian woman. Yes, feminism gives the appearance of freedom to women but it also brings along responsibility and unexpected liabilities and a lot of them!
So, as a western woman you have the right to have boyfriends (even become intimate and nobody will think anything wrong with this), you can stay out late, do what you please, smoke, drink, go on holidays alone, you don't need to ask your parents' approval in marriage or anything after the age of 18, you will always live in a nuclear family with your husband/boyfriend only, never with his parents, when they grow old you just put them into a retirement home and visit them twice a year, you can work, have your own bank account, don't need to ask your husbands permission for almost anything, he will share in housework, might even stay home and take care of the child. There are a lot more of those kind of "rights", but now let's have a look at the other side of the coin, that often is disregarded.
So as a woman here you also pay your own dinner and coffee when going out, you have to get home alone (nobody will escort you as chivalry is non-existent), you are responsible for yourself and nobody will take this from you, you need to learn how to buy and assemble your own furniture because parents expect you to move out of their house right after you concluded your studies. So you need to run your own household and learn to live with the money you earn. No man will open a door for you or help you carry heavy loads. Being a housewife is a luxury that is not affordable for a normal family.
Virginity holds no value and if at all a negative one on either side. You never know if the person opposite you is genuinely interested in you or just wants a short affair and there is no family that protects your interests as a young girl. There is no elder you can go to for guidance or help and if something happens, you need to deal with any upcoming problem alone.
Woman have become so much like men that often they have trouble finding a man that is willing to be in a relationship with them. A relationship has become a competition of who is better in any given field. Sure they are successful and make their own living but often a relationship lasts only a year or two and then they are out again looking for a man that would accept them. They resort to getting pregnant even though they have not even a proper boyfriend at the age of 37 because they know they won't find anyone but want to have a child in order not to be alone anymore. But even after marriage things don't merge, his is his and yours is yours, there are marriage contracts and adultery is considered to be an okay thing. If a man is unhappy with his wife, why not find a better, younger, nicer one? Why commit? Everybody understands and there are even agencies that offer the service of secret meetings in order to commit adultery with a total stranger.
My female colleagues used to laugh at the calls I get from my parents or family during the day at the office. Even more when we had a company event and I get reminded that it is time to go home or somebody comes to pick me up. Some stopped laughing when a lady in the office one day said, that if she were to die in her flat this night, nobody would know until maybe a week or two later.
So I ask you, is this really the way you want to live? Remember, everything in life has a price and I am sorry to say, I am not willing to pay the price for this kind of "freedom"
You are absolutely right on this, Rachna. What they call as independence is actually at a cost of interdependence. In other words they achieve ‘so called energy’ at the cost of synergy.
While the Indians in west are more conservative and religious, the Indians in India are axeing their own feet by copying the western culture which itself is directionless and starved. It is not ancient and hence when they ridicule the old values, they actually do not know that “Old is Gold” and the “Days of New are Few.”
Here the wife would not want to help in the house as the feminists have berated the very act of housekeeping as lowly where as I have proudly spent my childhood with my mother and the values that I have got from them instead of a Baby sitting, they fail to realize that it is the wonderful sequence of god, to raise kids and give them values which is the most important thing than anything else. My dad invested his contribution more on money department for me which he later spent on me and my mother spent time on me. Both were equally important for the balance. Now they spend time with me and I spend both money and time for them, alas without a complete family of my own because of distorted values. And false threat of IPC Sections like 498A.
Now a days, the question is about money, be it in marriage or be it Divorce. The values are lost. The values of the wedding vows which is merely a ritual are not even considered by the law (esp the hindu marriage act) following the vows is termed as “clichés and prototypes”. And the religion and values are followed by convenience and not adherence. And hence divorce takes place under the rule of feminism too.
People are all in show business where the self satisfaction is dependent on public opinion. Virginity and Fidelity followers are termed as jealous and perpetuated with a reason that they feel so because they never got a chance to get in to the act. It is a very sarcastic way of telling that grapes are sour for the ones who do not prefer breaking rules. Sad is the state of the mentality. After all we are humans, supreme in capacity than any creature, then why copy the inferior species and miserably justify our stand. I agree that there was no one to guide them, but then they should not misguide others!!!!
And then, finally leading to a life that is not worth living and it is lonely, it is dependent on public opinion.
What a price to pay? Like Rachna, neither am I interested in living a life with such a price to pay, for so called Freedom in the eyes of the public.
Happy to see that we are sailing in the same boat on this though we are opposite in genders but equal on our opinions.